When We Feel Stuck
When We Feel Stuck
Written by Jennifer Truong, Registered Psychotherapist (Qualifying)
Have you felt stuck in behavioural, thought, and emotional patterns and wondered why? What part of you notices these patterns? Does this show up in your body as tension, temperature fluctuations, and energy fluctuations? Do you yearn to behave, think, or feel something different, but still safer to react with older patterns (what you know)?
What the Stuck Part of You Might Be Protecting
The part that feels stuck can reveal valuable information when we give ourselves permission to sit, be curious, and reflect. It may reveal the patterns that keep us safe – the thoughts, the behaviours, the emotions we developed to protect us. From an attachment lens, it may also reveal an important time in our lives, such as a childhood or adolescence, where certain patterns kept us safe. Did you learn to shut-down and please adult caregivers to have your needs met? (e.g. to secure food, shelter, care, love, connection, belongingness), or perhaps, you learned to protest, yell and respond aggressively to protect yourself and others?
Seeing Your Patterns Through an Attachment Lens
When we consider our patterns from an attachment lens, we give permission to widen our own capacity for self-compassion, particularly for the part of ourselves that needed to protect us to survive. We consider that maybe this existing sensation of “stuck” signals change on the horizon. Imagine you are at a crossroads, and one path takes you on a clear path, which is the one you know well (the patterns you developed). The other path guides you into a fog, because it is unclear what lies ahead if you change course.
Why Curiosity Is Hard in Survival Mode
Curiosity and reflection are hard to do when we live in a time where our attention is on high-demand, and survival is the mode that feels readily accessed. In survival, we may only have the capacity to ensure our basic needs are met. In therapy, we pause time to stay with and hold the feelings that slip away from us in our everyday moments.
How Therapy Can Help You Get Unstuck
Therapy with the right person can be supportive in uncovering the stuck feeling, exploring older patterns, and discovering the person you feel called to become.
About the Author
Jennifer Truong, RP (Qualifying), is a psychotherapist at Crafted Balance Clinic in Dundas West, Toronto. She supports clients with anxiety and identity, including immigrant, refugee, and first and second generation clients, with a cultural humility approach. Read Jennifer’s bio.